Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Relationships/Dating | No Comments »
What is up when boys you are dating need space? For the first time my current “boyfriend” needed some space the other night. (“boyfriend” in quotes means that you spend every night together for a few months, but have yet to hear “him” call you his girlfriend to his friends.) I don’t mind the space. What I mind is that he wanted it!
Usually when a “boyfriend” wants his space I am over it. It’s not that I mind space AT ALL, it’s that it usually means they want to slow down or step back, without just coming out and saying it, which means they still want the good lovin’ without any commitment. Or its a tricky test to see how you respond. trickers. Well the problem with their needing of the space is that I end up being over it in that time. Not out of anger or dramatics, I just lose interest. Then after the space taking they decide to try and still get jiggy with me without so much attachment! It’s a trick! Darn hustlers. So then what happens is a few years later when we are good buddies they bring up the taking of the space thing and I say, “I figured you were over it” and they say they weren’t that I ended it and I say, “oh well that’s what you get for kicking me to the curb for three days!”
One time another guy and I were driving and he asked me if I thought he should get a MySpace page. I told him no, that it’s only for losers that have nothing to do all day while they are at work (me) but really I just didn’t want so many bitches to be on his jock having such easy access! That was a mighty fine cock block indeed.
You have just read the words of an expert cock blocker.
Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Scattered Thoughts | No Comments »
Today I saw my worst nightmare realized and that worst nightmare is being old, but not just cause of wrinkles and menopause and stuff but also because what if I’m one of those old ladies that thinks she can dress young like the gal at Starbucks today. I typed gal, but meant Early Bird Special American. Like I have a nice belly but you won’t see me in teeny tiny cropped tops even though I have way more of an excuse to wear them then a lot of little younglings I see wearing them, but I don’t wear them and you know why?
It’s because I am terrified of being judged!
Just kidding! it’s cause I am freaking 30+ and it would be inappropriate.
No, I wasn’t kidding. I don’t want to be judged for being 30 + and also wearing cropped tops!
The first noticeable sign is that I have hit oldness is that I only listen to Star 98.7 radio station. This is because they play the music of my tortured past. Now I know the 80′s thing is in right now, but the thing is when I was growing up my mom used to listen to hippie music all the time because she’s a hippie. This was a sign of the old to me. She wasn’t all crotchety telling me, “I don’t understand the crud you kids are listening to nowadays” but because her music choice was a direct correlation to her age I thought old people only listen to their childhood music. I only listen to my childhood music. Hence, I am old.
Another thing that sucks about being old is that you now see that what is considered cool is so freaking lame. This is probably why guys start hanging out with younger girls. The have yet to realize what meatheads you are. It’s a little freak out worthy that my kid brothers gal pals are hanging out with guys I hung out with ten years ago. This definately means that I am old. I am happy and have a nice ass, but I am old. This hanging out thing bothers me. Not jealousy bothers; I’m old bothers. How are “my” friends hanging out with them? I mean the chicks are hot and I totally love them and have known them forever, but it’s like I’m being replaced or something. Not me per se, but my age group. It also makes me question if i shouldn’t go out anymore or something because I don’t want to be the old lady up at da club!
Anyhow, I am not much a fan people that think they are shocking and unique when they are just little clones of one another. I’m thinking (rare, I know) that shock value doesn’t exist anymore. Well it does, but it seems that what these Hollywood kids still consider to be shocking is so played out that their words, actions, clothing, attitudes are no longer surprising, therefore unoriginal, therefore making them a part of exactly what they are trying so hard to rebel against, which is of course the norm. If everyone does something then it’s expected. If it’s expected then it can’t be shocking? What used to be surprising, so I guess cool, is now just retarded and played out.
The shock value isn’t in the words they use or actions they take. It’s in the fact that they are grown adults that think being rude, vulgar and looking like clones of one another is a good thing, and that they are clueless to the fact that if everybody doing it then it can’t really be shocking. Follow?
Declarations of a love of violence and whores isn’t edgy, it’s silly. And how many times can a person post nonsense about who he/she is humping this week, or her love of bj’s, before it loses all whatever the opposite of shock value is? Pervy boys need not answer that!
I think the funniest part is that the people that are the most “shocking” claim that they don’t care what people think of them the loudest. Well answer me this then, If they truly don’t care what people think of them then why do they need to tell us about it all the time? (don’t answer) Plus if they really don’t care what people think of them, and being different is so important, then wouldn’t being nice and polite be the shocking thing to do when all of their friends are miserable and mean? I don’t know, Just a thought.
If I look at all of the people that I love and respect the most, the people that I want to learn from, and look up to, I can guarantee that not one of them is jobless, sleeps with a different person everyday, doesn’t shower, lies, acts like they don’t care about anyone or anything or thinks that life ain’t nothin but bitches and money!
Wanna be shocking in Hollywood? Try manners, kindness, maturity, honesty, vulnerability, doing what you say, looking at someone while you are talking to them, knowing there are two sides to every story, dating and having a job.
I would never want to be who I used to consider the “cool” kids to be. The cool kids lie, screw people over, are grown adults that act like they are 13, stab you in the back, rarely smile, start rumors, don’t do what they say and are miserable and angry, but for some reason everybody vies for their attention. They do wear lotsa black clothing and listen to good music, though. I guess that counts for something!
If they would add another color to their wardrobe, treat women how they would want their mother to be treated, call people cupcakes instead of see you next tuesdays and keep the public declarations of hatred toward all mankind to themselves (as well as their sexual conquests and desires), oh and maybe even smile every once in awhile now that would be shocking!
The moral of the story is
no more cropped tops for aj