Grizzly Adams is so hot right now

I was recently informed that if a girl tells, emails or texts a guy and says that she misses or was thinking of him that it means she wants to get jiggy wit him! And that all guys know this! The reason this is a problem for me is that sometimes I tell my brother that I miss him. Well, that’s not a very good example because he’s a really good kisser, but I have said it to my cousin and some friends. , I guess what I am saying is that if I have ever told you that I miss you or that I was thinking of you that it does not mean that I want to have sexy time, it means I miss you or was thinking about you. One time I was thinking about someone and I was thinking about how I’d like to egg his car and what gnarly character he has and how he’s really letting himself go. Then when I saw him I said, “wow, I was just thinking about you.” Hope he didn’t think I was down for the cause!

I was also informed that if you are nice to a guy it means flirting. That is kind of confusing because if you are mean to him then you are a bitch. I can’t decide which I’d rather be. Bitch is probably better because I don’t want to flirt with anyone other than my main squeeze. It’s pretty gosh darn annoying that a gal can’t even say hi to a guy without him thinking that means she wants to have sexy time, so I have decided that I will no longer say hi to anyone, not even girls. So, if I see you out and about and don’t say hello you know why; it’s either that I am following my new policy or that I am not wearing my glasses.

So there is something that has been bothering me for awhile but I am hesitant to type about it because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and no it’s not this new trend of guys having hairy faces, although that is pretty unacceptable and sex offenderish, but is anyone else bothered by the fact that someone you used to think was cool can no longer be cool because of how they want to be perceived on my space? My space is all about perception. For example I want people to think I am funny and have great hair. There are other people that want to be perceived as goofballs and this is highly frustrating. How can someone be so cool in person and so gay online and by gay I don’t mean homosexual. I mean gay as the now commonly used slang term implies. I wouldn’t use the word gay meaning homosexual to describe these dorks because that would be an insult to lesbians and also because it would be homophobic. Anyhow, I was going to list some examples but can’t think of any right now.

Another thing I have been thinking about is break up grand gestures by women. The main grand gesture post break up is the deleting of the number from the cell. “I deleted his number. I am woman hear me roar!” The problem with that his that the number is never really deleted and the deleter is a liar! It may not be housed in the old celly any longer, but you know those digits are in the laptop at home! “If I delete his number I won’t text him 50 times throughout the day switching from anger to apologetic. I’ll just wait until I get home…just in case I need to talk to the guy that just dumped me.” Not that I have done this I’m just saying.

And why do guys think they have such good relationship advice for their male friends? If guys were good at relationships they would be in them and the phrase “guys get scared” probably wouldn’t exist and all of my gal pals would be dating nice guys and wouldn’t have exes that now appear on Makehimpay.net or other sites that have forums so you can tell other gals what a loser your ex was! I figure that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors except for the two people involved, so if a third party thinks they know what’s best for the couple in the relationship then that third party person is a butt (A Butt!) that doesn’t follow spiritual principles. Other good guy advice was “you have to be mean if you want to break up” And they wonder why they are considered a-holes and also meanie pants. It’s so awesome that, that thought and those words actually came out of someone’s mouth!

And why do people think self improvement is situational? The truly spiritual are able to make changes no matter what the circumstances of their lives are, but guys aren’t spiritual, they are goobers and they think that change comes about from the outside not from within. I’d suspect f you are not faced with a problem it’s kind of easy to change it. For example it would be really easy for me to stop hating this one dickface that is mean to me if I never saw him, but I have no choice but to see him almost everyday, so I had better figure out how to not want to punch his chin everyday, or how to not rig his car so the brakes don’t work, you follow what I am saying? It’s pretty easy to deal with “issues” if you are not facing them because then you get to ignore them and not try to make any change at all!

I don’t really know my point except that there are a handful of people that are nutjobs. And none of those dummies are people that I talk to on a daily basis and this is my disclaimer and safe guard! No one knows what god’s (the universe, mother nature. whoever) will is for another human being.  If you don’t know god’s (the universe, mother nature. whoever) will for another human you probably shouldn’t give advice on it…even though i do it all the time! It’s like that old saying goes about killing two birds with one stone, or giving a man a fish, or walking in someone else’s shoes or something…but not at all really.