newsflash

If a guy tells you he is an asshole it’s important to believe him.

He is not lying.  This does not mean that he is incapable of doing nice things such as telling you that you have a great ass or purchasing a delicious slurpee treat as a gift item.  It just means that sometime down the road when he does something real assholey like slapping cheeks with your sister you will get to hear, “I told you I’m an asshole.”

It’s a classic example of the set up.  He is preconditioning you and its very important to hear what they are saying because they are basically foreshadowing a future event or 5.  It’s a common tactic amongst, well, assholes.

So you must decide if you really want to date a guy that told you straight up that he is going to behave like a prick then instead of doing what most people do which is not acting like a prick he will instead throw an “I told you so” around as if it’s your fault that he is a douche.  So stay away even if he has good hair and/or loves hamburger hamlet French onion soup.

are you on my mailing list?

Last night I ran into a guy who a few years ago I allowed to take me on a few dates.  (allowed = agreed to go out with = i begged him to take me out = at gun point)….   He asked if I was on his mailing list.

It’s interesting what a lasting impression a gal will make when she follows her dad’s advice: “don’t put out unless you get both dinner and a movie”   I got both the movie portion and the dinner portion, but they weren’t both on the same night.  Hence, “hey nice to see you!  Are you on my mailing list?”  !!!