Why Guys Don't Call & How To Get Him To Call You

Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »

Have you ever had a crush on a gay guy?

I have.

Didn’t know he was gay until I saw my competition (it’s a war).  She looked like a man!  Nothing against the gays it’s just that dating them rarely works out.

The situation was frustrating, but also made me happy he and I never hooked up because what if he expected to find a wiener in my pants!?  He’d just be disappointed then tell everyone I suck in bed!

And now we know why guys don’t call when they say they will…

It’s because you don’t have a penis.

One time a guy didn’t call, but did other things that made him seem interested.

• Like once he said he “really really” wanted to stay and spoon, but had to wake up early in the morning.
• Another time we went to Bob’s Big Boy and I didn’t have to pay for his meal, just mine.
• The best was the 3:00 AM booty call text. He even said, “please” !!!

Obviously he was smitten, so the no call was confusing!  Can you relate?

When a guy doesn’t call it’s probably because he was “having a really busy week.” We ladies must be more understanding  — it’s tough to find the time it takes to send a text message.  Or maybe he said he emailed, but you didn’t get it.  Don’t trip.  Emails ARE lost ALL THE TIME.  Or maybe he is shy because you are so amazing and he is afraid of his feelings!

If you’ve called him 10 times and sent 30 text messages, yet still haven’t heard back, it’s time to be proactive.

He needs a nudge in the right direction.

The direction of not being a dick.

5 surefire ways to get a guy to call you:

1. Tell him that you like to try new things such as exotic cuisine and travel adventures.

Then allude to the fact that you’ve never been in a three-way.

This has a low success rate because most guys find the idea of a threesome repulsive, but give it a try anyway.

2. Make a shirt with his face on it then wear it someplace he frequents:

• His job.
• His moms house.
• Hooters.

This shows him you are his biggest fan!

3. Steal something that is important to him such as his asthma inhaler, engagement ring or his dog.  Kidnapping his dog kills two birds with one stone. First, he will call. Secondly, that dog shouldn’t be his best friend anyway.  You should be.

4. If it’s a gift-giving occasion, like Christmas or his birthday, give him a gift that means, “Call me”.

That gift is a pre-paid phone card.

5. Call him 100 times in one day. He will return your call to say,

6. Make plans with is wife.  Just like in Glenn Close did in Fatal Attraction!

7. Make yourself indispensible by being his personal concierge. Basically do anything for him at the drop of a dime. This can be anything from airport rides, sex, or babysitting his kids while he is on a date with another woman.

If he knows you are at his beck and call HE WILL CALL…

8. Threaten him.

9. Fake an emergency

• There is an illness in your family.
• Your house is on fire.
• Herpes.

WARNING: If he doesn’t call after this he is heartless…

which will make you want him more.

10. Leave a pregnancy test in his bathroom.

If you try these 10 tactics with no call then he is not busy or afraid.

HE IS GAY.

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