What Chicks Say & What They Mean
Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
Chicks always say exactly what they mean.
Just kidding!
If you want to understand women you need to be a mind reader!
Or get an interpreter!
Or follow this scientific formula:
- Take what she says.
- Then think the exact opposite.
- Then add a bunch of extra stuff to it.
For example…
- What she says = “nothing is wrong”
- The exact opposite = “something is wrong”
- Add a bunch of extra stuff to it =
“*sigh, nothing, *sigh….nothing is wrooonnngggg.”
Or use the following Chick Language to Normal People Language Dictionary!
She says: Sorry it’s girls night.
It means: There is no such thing as girl’s night. “Sorry it’s girls night” really means “sorry it’s girls night…
UNLESS you are Ryan Reynolds hot.”
A chick will ditch her gal-pals in a heartbeat if it means hanging out with a Ryan Reynolds-like man stallion or any decent looking guy who is good at magic or any guy who simply says hello to her.
She says: I miss you.
It means: WARNING! Feelings alert.
She just broke up with her boyfriend, or her imaginary boyfriend, and would like to spoon.
She says: Do I look fat?
It means: She thinks she looks fat and wants you to confirm her insanity. Instead of getting frustrated just answer the effing question!
Warning! No matter how you answer she WILL second guess you. Don’t take it personally. She didn’t hear you because the voices in her head are louder than your voice!
Save yourself some frustration and simply repeat your answer (“No, you don’t look fat Boo.”) as many times as it takes to penetrate her crazy brain.
She says: I LOVE Beyonce!
It means: Beyonce is the universal symbol of a strong, independent woman. At least to chicks who are under the age of 25. Beyonce lovers want you to think they are okay being single when truthfully they wish a man would cure their daddy issues. Also, they enjoy doing dance routines and want to get knocked up by Jay-Z.
She says: wooohoooo!
It means: You have found a chick who wears pink lipstick, pigtails and pouts to get free Starbucks coffee from the barista.
- “Oh My God! I love this Beyonce song!”
- “Oh My God! I love your dress!”
- “Oh My God! I’m sooooooo wasted!”
She probably needs to go to rehab.
She says: If she is crying.
It means: If she is crying for no reason do NOT ask if it’s her time of the month! It probably is, but don’t freaking ask! She needs support during this emotional time and that support should come in the form of chocolate.
She says: Do you think she’s pretty?
It means: WARNING! This is an ambush!
If you say, “yes” her next question will be, “do you think she is prettier than me?”
If girl #2 is prettier than the girl you hump then you must lie! If you have some silly “moral code” about honesty in relationships then lie by omission. Just fake a seizure or choke on a piece of chicken or something. Do whatever it takes not to answer the question. If you decide to tell the truth think about John Wayne Bobbit. Now rethink your “honesty” policy.
She says: I’m not mad.
It means: Let’s return to the scientific formula to find out if she is not mad…
- Take what she says = “I’m not mad.”
- Then think the exact opposite = “I am mad.”
- Then add a bunch of extra stuff to it = “*huff. *rolls eyes. I saaaiid I’m not effing mad. ugh.”
Find a fox hole.
She says: I’m saving myself for marriage.
It means: Any chick who is “saving herself for marriage” gives good blowjanky’s.
She says: I’ve never done this before.
It means: WARNING! This is a lie if she is past the age of 12!
She says: I’m fine.
It means: If you believe that I have a bridge for sale!
She says: Want to watch a movie?
It means: Some people think “watching a movie” is secret code language for “do you want to cuddle?” but it’s not.
Watching a movie is an excuse for her to eat carbs in the form of popcorn.
She says: A variation of hello.
It means: Interpreting “hello” is more difficult than a color blind person solving a Rubik’s Cube while drunk or being emotionally honest. Pay attention to her inflection…
- Hi. “Why haven’t you called me?”
- Hi! “Wanna spoon?”
- Uh Hi? “Leave me alone creeper.”
- Hell-o. “My biological clock is ticking.”
- Hey! “Give me chocolate.”
She says: You don’t buy me flowers anymore.
It means: She thinks- that you think- that she is fat.
Primpin ain't easy.
She says: I’ll be ready in five minutes.
It means: In girl talk that means…
5 minutes PLUS 1-3 hours.
It’s contingent upon what kind of hair day she is having.
She says: Nice shoes.
It means: There are 4 Reasons Women Give Compliments. Usually it’s to make people like them. Sometimes it’s actually sincere! Footwear compliments are generally sincere because everyone knows how important shoes are to the betterment of society.
She says: I don’t care. You choose.
It means: Deciding on a movie or where to eat is a super stressful major life decision. This is why she let’s you decide. At this point she does not care what you watch or where you eat…UNTIL you choose. Then all of a sudden she cares! And it’s NEVER what you pick. Basically you are an oracle of what she doesn’t want.
She says: Here boo, Have this home video gaming system! It’s a gift of love from me to you. xoxo.
It means: She wants to distract you from the credit card bill or she is not in the mood to make whoopee. Also, she is cool as shit if she bought you an X-Box.
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