Get Your Guy a Christmas Gift That Doesn't Suck!
Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Top Posts | No Comments »The number one rule of boyfriend gift giving is to make sure your present doesn’t suck.
The second rule is to give him a present that is way better than what his last girlfriend gave him!
Historically, when it comes to boyfriend gifts there are 3 options:
- Cologne
- Video games
- Lap dances
Cologne is nice, but it’s what every girl gets her boyfriend if she is too “classy” to give video games or lap dances. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you aren’t classy. Cologne is out.
Video games are the perfect gift if you don’t want to hump your boyfriend. This way he will play video games instead of trying to play hide the salami! But if you still want to even hang out with your man don’t give him video games. If you do, he’ll ignore you for 5 days straight. Video games are out.
That leaves lap dances. Traditionally lap dances are more of a birthday gift than a holiday gift. Since you are a traditional woman lap dances are out too.
So what non-sucky gift are you going to get your hot boyfriend for Christmas/Hannukah that will be better than what his ex gave him!?
KEEP READING…
Stuff Guys Like:
- White tigers
- Robots
- Steak
- Football
- Archery/Swords
- Beer
- Dragons
- Remote Controls
- Emotional Unavailability
- Kung Fu
- Lasers
- Boobs
If you find a gift from one of the above categories you will be golden, BUT if you find a way to combine two things he likes into one gift you are a champion. For example…
- Parties + Sex = Threesome!
- Food + Boobs = Gift certificate to Hooters!
- Cars + Blowjob = Mobile blow janky!
More Ideas
- If you’re in a new relationship don’t go overboard. It will freak him out. Give him Fight Club or Top Gun on DVD. You can’t miss with a homoerotic action adventure.
- If you’re in a serious relationship it’s time to upgrade his man cave. Give him something for his home like a plant, throw pillows or art. Man art usually involves animals playing sports, graffiti or anything from the above list of Stuff Guys Like. Combine his interests into a mural and I guarantee he will watch The Notebook with you next time it’s on Lifetime.
- A Romantic Spa day is on the top of every guy’s wish list. Nothing says “man gift” like scented candles and patchouli. This is a great gift because not only do you get to go with him, but also you can trick him into getting his hairy back waxed! Win-win!
- This next gift requires planning because it’s a big surprise!
- Get him drunk.
- Like black out drunk.
- Remember the golden rule that the perfect gift is a combination of two things he loves.
- He loves unicorns.
- He loves tattoos.
- While he is shit-faced drunk take him to the tattoo shop for a unicorn tattoo.
- SURPRISE!
It’s the gift that lasts forever!
The only thing his ex got him that lasts forever is herpes.
You win!
- Clothing. Buying clothes for dudes is tricky. On one hand you don’t want to remind him of his mom. On the other hand you’re the one who has to look at him and you don’t want to look at something grody! You must balance the fine line between choosing something he will actually wear and something you want to look at.
- If he’s into hip hop you can’t go wrong with Cross Colours.
- If he’s into rainbows you can’t go wrong with this…
- But remember, real men wear pink…
- You know how guys like to relive their youth by talking about the glory days of high school football? You’ll score big points if you make him feel young again. Nothing says young again like Underoos! (Underwear that’s fun to wear) OR Rogaine!!
- Vanity plates
- 3 Questions:
- Do you love him?
- Are you territorial?
- Does he like Vanilla Ice?
If you answered yes to the above questions the answer is clear…
- matching airbrushed sweatshirts with your names on them.
Come back next week for can’t fail chick gifts that are guaranteed to get you a handy!
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