7 Can’t Fail Conversation Topics So Your First Dates Don’t Suck – Part 1

First dates are stressful!

You have to worry about:

  • Looking hot.
  • Pretending to be sane.
  • And acting like you’re not a slut!

On top of that you have to remember to fake laugh at his jokes all while trying to figure out if he:

  • Is married
  • Has mommy issues
  • Or is gay

It’s a lot of multitasking!

With all that pressure the last thing you want to worry about is how to be entertaining!

Here are a few things to talk about on a first date:

1. Tattoos.

If you have a tramp stamp SHOW HIM.  Then not only will he know you are a tramp (always a good thing) but he’ll have something sexual to think about while pretending to be interested in what you’re saying.

 

 

2.   Marilyn Monroe said,

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

This is why on a first date you should complain…  A lot!

It’s never too soon to find out if he can handle you at your worst.  More importantly you’ll find out if he is a good emotional crutch!

He has to be a good emotional crutch because once you have a man he can replace your therapist!

 

3.  Repeat after me

“You and I would have good-looking kids.”

 

4.   Do you have a diary with the details of your past sexual conquests?   If not, it’s no mystery why you are single.   Every potential baby daddy should read your little black book.  Sexual experience is the most important part of a relationship.  No one wants to marry a non-slutty virgin!

You should even bring reference letters.

(He doesn’t have to know you wrote them yourself!)

 

5.  Have you ever asked a guy to get something from the fridge?

The item is always right in front of them, but they never see it!

Guys really can’t see what’s right in front of them!

So if he can’t see it on his own you’re going to have to tell him…

what a hot piece of ass you are and that you are easy!

 

This is why she ends up in a stripper outfit by the 3rd movie

6.  The “experts” suggest if you want to get to know someone you should ask icebreaker questions.  Popular subjects are fun things like your first concert or favorite childhood memory.

But dates are NOT about having fun.

Dating should be deep and meaningful from the very start.  People that talk about surface level “fun stuff” are afraid of intimacy.

Plus guys LOVE sharing tender moments with women they’ve just met!

By opening up about your daddy issues you have just shown your future husband that you deal with problems head on.

AND THAT YOU ARE LIKELY TO HAVE A THREESOME!

Daddy + Issues = 3somes!

 

**  Pro Tip:  Text message throughout the date.  This makes you seem popular.

Don’t tell him you are texting with your mom.

 

7.  Ask about his favorite things such as books, TV shows, etc.

PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED.

Then share yours:

  • Oprah
  • Dr. Phil
  • Men are From Mars Women are From Venus
  • The Rules
  • Having a baby in 9 months
  • Team Edward
  • Ex Boyfriends
  • Hello Kitty
  • Spooning
  • Arts & Crafts
  • Gossip
  • Butterflies
  • Cheese Products
  • Butter
  • Obsessing over his texts
  • Gold digging
  • Romance Novels
  • Tenderness
  • The Bachelor
  • TMZ
  • Weight Watchers
  • Bonbons
  • Therapy
  • Doogie Howser
  • Unicorns

 

Let me know how these work for you!

 

 

 

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