Happy V Day!
Posted: February 14th, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Scavenging the Web | No Comments »
Never Trust a Guy Who Likes Valentines Day
Posted: February 13th, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Sportie LA | No Comments »
Never trust a guy who likes Valentine’s Day.
He’s lying!
What he really likes is March 14th which is
Steak & a BJ Day!
“March 14th is now officially ‘Steak and Blowjob Day’. Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. That’s it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine’s Day and Steak and BJ Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th. It’s like a perpetual love machine!”
**Translation: Some guy needed to find a way to get his girlfriend to give him more mouth romance. He invented a holiday that would guarantee hoovering in March if he gave her an extra special Valentine’s Day!
5 People to Avoid on Super Bowl Sunday
Posted: February 4th, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »
Don't watch The Super Bowl with cats.
It’s Super Bowl time, which means it’s the best time!
- It’s like your birthday and Christmas rolled into one!
- It’s like eating cheeseburgers all year long while losing weight!
- It’s better than a guy calling after humping for the first time!
It’s the best day of the year, which is why you don’t want to watch it with sucky people.
5 People to Avoid on Super Bowl Sunday
5 Easy Steps to Becoming a Cat Lady
Posted: January 27th, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »Cat Lady is an ancient Latin phrase meaning:
Extreme Cat Lady
“I am a lady who loves cats and never gets laid”.
It’s an appealing option after a breakup. It’s even more appealing once you’ve run out of ice cream and ex boyfriends to fix on!
If you’ve decided to swear off men forever…
again…
Here are 5 Easy Steps to Becoming a Cat Lady:
6 Ways to Be Skinny & Awesome
Posted: January 27th, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »
It’s important to know who and what you are, so you know how to improve as a person!
For example, I have fat sausage link fingers, arms the size of 100 year old redwood trees and a face longer than Mr. Ed’s!
Stretch marks, cellulite, saddle bags and wrinkles are a depressing fact of life, but what’s even more depressing is featuring them as part of your ensemble!
Like, I might have lines on my forehead, but I’m not going to draw a circle around them with a red sharpie then parade about town.
“Hey look! Check out my sweet forehead wrinkles.”
No, I just wear bangs.
Or get Botox.
Or wear a veil!
How to Survive a Break Up by Becoming a Cat Lady
Posted: January 6th, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Relationships/Dating, Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Not true.
The best way to get over someone is to become a cat lady!
Best and Worst of 2011! (Mostly Worst)
Posted: January 2nd, 2012 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »
"Winning"
2011 was the year of the zombie! We were riveted by The Walking Dead and bombarded with the video for Party Rock Anthem. Even The Center for Disease Control got jiggy with the Preparedness 101: Zombie Survival Guide!
Other people just wouldn’t go away no matter how hard we wanted to kill their careers —like Kim Kardashian or Charlie Sheen.
Top zombie sightings of 2011 were:
- Osama Bin Laden
- Kim Jong-il
- Amy Winehouse
but enough about politics.
If it doesn’t have to do with hot chicks and hot man candy it’s not worth reading.
Why You Are Going to Become a Cat Lady…
Posted: December 28th, 2011 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Scavenging the Web | 1 Comment »
Christmas Gifts That Are Guaranteed to Get You Laid!
Posted: December 18th, 2011 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »Finding the perfect holiday gift for your lady can be a nightmare!
If you get something generic she’ll complain that you don’t think she’s special. If you get the wrong gift she’ll complain that,
“you don’t know me at all!”
Either way you’ll have to listen to her talk about her feelings for 6 hours!
What women want is simple:
To be rescued by Prince Charming!
But if you don’t have a white horse what are you going to get her that won’t require you to fake listen to her emotional break down because you got her pajamas instead of an engagement ring?
Get Your Guy a Christmas Gift That Doesn't Suck!
Posted: December 9th, 2011 | Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Sportie LA, Top Posts | No Comments »The number one rule of boyfriend gift giving is to make sure your present doesn’t suck.
The second rule is to give him a present that is way better than what his last girlfriend gave him!
Historically, when it comes to boyfriend gifts there are 3 options:
- Cologne
- Video games
- Lap dances
Cologne is nice, but it’s what every girl gets her boyfriend if she is too “classy” to give video games or lap dances. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you aren’t classy. Cologne is out.
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