Never Trust a Guy Who Likes Valentine’s Day!

Never trust a guy who likes Valentine’s Day because he’s lying!  What he really likes is March 14th, which is Steak & a BJ Day.

funny valentine selfishSteak and BJ Day Defined:  ”Men work very hard to satisfy their lovers on Valentine’s Day and given their ebullient dedication, Steak & BJ Day is a joyous opportunity to repay the favour. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name explains it all: just a steak and a BJ on March 14th. That’s it.”

**Translation: A guy invented a manipulative holiday so his girlfriend would give him more mouth romance!

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5 People to Avoid on Super Bowl Sunday

Cat in a bowl

Don’t watch the Super Bowl with cats.

It’s Super Bowl time, which means it’s the best time!

  • It’s like your birthday and Christmas rolled into one!
  • It’s like eating pizza all year long without gaining weight!
  • It’s better than a guy calling after humping you for the first time!

Super Bowl Sunday is the best day of the year!

…which is why you don’t want to watch it with sucky people.

Here are 5 People to Avoid on Super Bowl Sunday!

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Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas for Your Inner Slut!

Deciding on a Halloween costume is stressful! Your main concern should be how to be as scary as possible! …Just kidding.

It’s “How can I be the sluttiest slut there is!?”  You just have to decide which of the 6 types of slut costumes best represents your inner slut!

  1. Sexy Slut
  2. Naughty Slut
  3. Funny Slut
  4. Non-Slut
  5. Pretends to Not Want to be a Slut
  6. Cat Lady

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Give Him a Gift That Doesn’t Suck

The number one rule of gift giving is to make sure your present doesn’t suck.

The number one rule of giving a gift to your boyfriend is to make sure that it’s a way better gift than what his last girlfriend gave him!

Historically, when it comes to boyfriend gifts there are 3 options:

  • Cologne
  • Video games
  • Lap dances

Cologne is nice, but it’s what every girl gets her boyfriend if she is too “classy” to give video games or lap dances.  Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you aren’t classy. Cologne is out.

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10 Gifts For Her That Will Get You Laid!

Finding the perfect birthday present for your lady can be a nightmare!

If you get something generic she’ll complain that you don’t think she’s special. If you get the wrong gift she’ll complain that,

“you don’t know me at all!”

What women want is simple:

To be rescued by Prince Charming!

Or one of the following presents….

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How to End a First Date

Ending a date can be tricky. There’s a fine line between giving the impression you’re a desperate Debbie and the impression that you’ve done all of the Dallas Cowboys!

You want him to know you are a “free-spirit” and fun, but you don’t want him to know you are that way with every guy you’ve ever met.
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