Ending a date can be tricky. There’s a fine line between giving the impression you’re a desperate Debbie and the impression that you’ve done all of the Dallas Cowboys!
You want him to know you are a “free-spirit” and fun, but you don’t want him to know you are that way with every guy you’ve ever met.
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The outcome of a first date can determine whether or not you spend the rest of your life alone!
Last week we discussed can’t fail first date conversation topics.
Here are a few more things to talk about on a first date:
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First dates are stressful!
You have to worry about:
On top of that you have to remember to fake laugh at his jokes all while trying to figure out if he:
It’s a lot of multitasking!
With all that pressure the last thing you want to worry about is how to be entertaining!
Here are a few things to talk about on a first date:
Have you ever spent 30 hours getting ready just to watch your date flirt with the waitress?
Does your “boyfriend” say, “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now” when the two of you have been playing the horizontal hula for like 6 months and he even bought you a Christmas present!?
Does your husband like nachos more than he likes you?
Romantic relationships with guys can be tough. Just like it’s tough to deal with puppies…
or herpes.
Which is why a lot of chicks convert to lesbianism in their late 40′s!
Cosmopolitan Magazine says if you want to be comfortable with your body you should:
Rubbish!
If you want to love your body you need to look OUTSIDE of yourself!
Obviously you are no good at having self-esteem or you’d have some! You need to learn the secret of body confidence…
That it comes from getting attention from other people!
Here’s how to get it:
It’s important to know who and what you are, so you know how to improve as a person!
For example, I have fat sausage link fingers, arms the size of 100 year old redwood trees and a face longer than Mr. Ed’s!
Stretch marks, cellulite, saddle bags and wrinkles are a depressing fact of life, but what’s even more depressing is featuring them as part of your ensemble!
Like, I might have lines on my forehead, but I’m not going to draw a circle around them with a red sharpie then parade about town.
“Hey look! Check out my sweet forehead wrinkles.”
No, I just wear bangs.
Or get Botox.
Or wear a veil!
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Not true.
The best way to get over someone is to become a cat lady!
Finding the perfect holiday gift for your lady can be a nightmare!
If you get something generic she’ll complain that you don’t think she’s special. If you get the wrong gift she’ll complain that,
“you don’t know me at all!”
Either way you’ll have to listen to her talk about her feelings for 6 hours!
What women want is simple:
To be rescued by Prince Charming!
But if you don’t have a white horse what are you going to get her that won’t require you to fake listen to her emotional break down because you got her pajamas instead of an engagement ring?
The number one rule of boyfriend gift giving is to make sure your present doesn’t suck.
The second rule is to give him a present that is way better than what his last girlfriend gave him!
Historically, when it comes to boyfriend gifts there are 3 options:
Cologne is nice, but it’s what every girl gets her boyfriend if she is too “classy” to give video games or lap dances. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you aren’t classy. Cologne is out.
Austin Powers is your fashion role model!
Hey boys, want to get more action?
If so, the first step is to understand the female brain!
There are 5 criteria chicks use to decide if they will make out with you:
If you want to attract an ugly chick no need to keep reading. Just give her a Lord of the Rings DVD box set, patchouli oil and some butter. She’s yours.
But if you want to make out with a hot chick you’re gonna have to look like a hot piece of man candy!
It’s time to dress to impress…