Author: Allison James | Filed under: Beauty & Health, Real Good Ideas, Top Posts | 2 Comments »
Cosmopolitan Magazine says if you want to be comfortable with your body you should:
- Stay off of the scale.
- Think thin.
- Listen to the Christina Aguilera I’m Beautiful Song.
- And that its what’s on the inside that counts.
Rubbish!
If you want to love your body you need to look OUTSIDE of yourself!
Obviously you are no good at having self-esteem or you’d have some! You need to learn the secret of body confidence…
That it comes from getting attention from other people!
Here’s how to get it:
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
“How many people have you hooked up with?”
This is an age-old question you should NEVER ask!
It will turn a romantic evening into Helter Skelter!
You’ll no longer see the man you love as your knight in shining armor. You’ll see him as a devil-man-whore-life-ruiner!
And YOU will INSTANTLY morph into a psychotic single white female!
Never ask your man candy questions about:
- If he thinks you’re fat.
- Who he’s slept with.
- Which of your friends he thinks is hot.
- Who he’d be willing to repopulate the earth with after the nuclear apocalypse.
Especially don’t ask if you are young = nuts+insecure or have PMS. But do ask if you enjoy being jealous, dramatic text message fighting or are into kinky stuff.
Congress passed a law on this very issue…
Don’t ask, don’t tell!
But it still happens. So what should you do if blindsided by “What’s your number”?
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating | 2 Comments »
Never trust a guy who likes Valentine’s Day.
He’s lying!
What he really likes is March 14th which is
Steak & a BJ Day!
“March 14th is now officially ‘Steak and Blowjob Day’. Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. That’s it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine’s Day and Steak and BJ Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th. It’s like a perpetual love machine!”
**Translation: Some guy needed to find a way to get his girlfriend to give him more mouth romance. He invented a holiday that would guarantee hoovering in March if he gave her an extra special Valentine’s Day!
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Top Posts | No Comments »
Don't watch the Super Bowl with cats.
It’s Super Bowl time, which means it’s the best time!
- It’s like your birthday and Christmas rolled into one!
- It’s like eating cheeseburgers all year long while losing weight!
- It’s better than a guy calling after humping for the first time!
It’s the best day of the year, which is why you don’t want to watch it with sucky people.
5 People to Avoid on Super Bowl Sunday
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
Cat Lady is an ancient Latin phrase meaning:
Extreme Cat Lady
“I am a lady who loves cats and never gets laid”.
It’s an appealing option after a breakup. It’s even more appealing once you’ve run out of ice cream and ex boyfriends to fix on!
If you’ve decided to swear off men forever…
again…
Here are 5 Easy Steps to Becoming a Cat Lady:
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Top Posts | No Comments »
It’s important to know who and what you are, so you know how to improve as a person!
For example, I have fat sausage link fingers, arms the size of 100 year old redwood trees and a face longer than Mr. Ed’s!
Stretch marks, cellulite, saddle bags and wrinkles are a depressing fact of life, but what’s even more depressing is featuring them as part of your ensemble!
Like, I might have lines on my forehead, but I’m not going to draw a circle around them with a red sharpie then parade about town.
“Hey look! Check out my sweet forehead wrinkles.”
No, I just wear bangs.
Or get Botox.
Or wear a veil!
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Not true.
The best way to get over someone is to become a cat lady!
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Top Posts | No Comments »
"Winning"
2011 was the year of the zombie! We were riveted by The Walking Dead and bombarded with the video for Party Rock Anthem. Even The Center for Disease Control got jiggy with the Preparedness 101: Zombie Survival Guide!
Other people just wouldn’t go away no matter how hard we wanted to kill their careers —like Kim Kardashian or Charlie Sheen.
Top zombie sightings of 2011 were:
- Osama Bin Laden
- Kim Jong-il
- Amy Winehouse
but enough about politics.
If it doesn’t have to do with hot chicks and hot man candy it’s not worth reading.
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Cosmopolitan Magazine says if you want to be comfortable with your body you should:
