Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Top Posts | No Comments »
Finding the perfect holiday gift for your lady can be a nightmare!
If you get something generic she’ll complain that you don’t think she’s special. If you get the wrong gift she’ll complain that,
“you don’t know me at all!”
Either way you’ll have to listen to her talk about her feelings for 6 hours!
What women want is simple:
To be rescued by Prince Charming!
But if you don’t have a white horse what are you going to get her that won’t require you to fake listen to her emotional break down because you got her pajamas instead of an engagement ring?
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Top Posts | No Comments »
The number one rule of boyfriend gift giving is to make sure your present doesn’t suck.
The second rule is to give him a present that is way better than what his last girlfriend gave him!
Historically, when it comes to boyfriend gifts there are 3 options:
- Cologne
- Video games
- Lap dances
Cologne is nice, but it’s what every girl gets her boyfriend if she is too “classy” to give video games or lap dances. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you aren’t classy. Cologne is out.
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Scavenging the Web | No Comments »
Must Watch!
Kittens Inspired by Kittens
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU?rel=0&w=420&h=315]
Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
Chicks always say exactly what they mean.
Just kidding!
If you want to understand women you need to be a mind reader!
Or get an interpreter!
Or follow this scientific formula:
- Take what she says.
- Then think the exact opposite.
- Then add a bunch of extra stuff to it.
For example…
- What she says = “nothing is wrong”
- The exact opposite = “something is wrong”
- Add a bunch of extra stuff to it =
“*sigh, nothing, *sigh….nothing is wrooonnngggg.”
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
Guys aren’t very smart.
It’s because their brain cells live in their wieners!
Conversely, the communication centers in the female brain are 3 times the size of those in the male brain. Chick’s think more than guys do. It’s science!
Due to their small brains guys get frustrated when they have to explain stuff to women. It’s not that they don’t want to explain themselves, it’s just that its hurts them to actually have to think about anything…
unless its wiener related.
(sometimes they like to think about food or sports too.)
Because they lack the capacity for thought, they say things that can easily be misinterpreted like,
“hi” and “what’s up”.
And because they are more like untrained animals than real people, they get all bitchy and flustered when chicks ask for clarification. So, if you’ve ever wondered,
“What does he mean by that”
here you go…
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Scattered Thoughts | 1 Comment »
Sweatshirt for awesome cat lady chicks:
Sweatshirt for patriotic cat lady chicks:
Sweatshirt for Rastafari cat lady chicks:
Author: Allison James | Filed under: Real Good Ideas, Top Posts | No Comments »
Austin Powers is your fashion role model!
Hey boys, want to get more action?
If so, the first step is to understand the female brain!
There are 5 criteria chicks use to decide if they will make out with you:
- How hot you are.
- How your hotness increases her stock value to other men.
- If her friends are jealous of her because you are so hot.
- If you’re hot enough to give her cute babies.
- If she is recently single, desperate or drunk.
If you want to attract an ugly chick no need to keep reading. Just give her a Lord of the Rings DVD box set, patchouli oil and some butter. She’s yours.
But if you want to make out with a hot chick you’re gonna have to look like a hot piece of man candy!
It’s time to dress to impress…
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Top Posts | Tags: Halloween | No Comments »
Deciding on a Halloween costume is stressful! Your main concern should be how to be as scary as possible!
Just kidding.
It’s “How can I be the sluttiest slut there is!?”
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Author: Allison James | Filed under: Relationships/Dating, Top Posts | No Comments »
Have you ever had a crush on a gay guy?
I have.
Didn’t know he was gay until I saw my competition (it’s a war). She looked like a man! Nothing against the gays it’s just that dating them rarely works out.
The situation was frustrating, but also made me happy he and I never hooked up because what if he expected to find a wiener in my pants!? He’d just be disappointed then tell everyone I suck in bed!
And now we know why guys don’t call when they say they will…
It’s because you don’t have a penis.
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